Friday was a rough day emotionally and I stayed up way too late watching online tv while I oscillated back and forth between crying and being horribly pissed off. I thought about eating something, because I didn’t like that I hadn’t eaten since lunch and it is just my natural tendency to snack when I’m upset and up late. But I actually just couldn’t stand the thought of eating. Which I suppose was better than the alternative.
Today is a new day however and though I woke up with a horrible crick in my neck I feel much better and ate a little breakfast…though it started with just a banana. But after an hour of dealing with work frustration made me go after a less than desirable snack. No flour or sugar, but I’ve got to get over that being a justification for eating other types of junk! Hopefully that will come with time. Just trying to survive the big life changes and holidays first.
I ended up not getting out of my jammies all day and lounged on the couch after my morning work napping and watching horrible online tv until about 5. I finally went to the store to pick up some supplies and a couple movies. I started to feel very depressed. My first weekend day where I didn’t feel like I had to get work done and yet I did nothing…no time with friends, no fun activities. Just cuddled on the couch with a kitty.
I was worried about going to the store in this depressed state as I was starting to get bad cravings, but I made my list: grapes, sweet potato, black bean soup (FINALLY found one that didn’t have any sugar or other nasty stuff in it!), plain greek yogurt and grapefruit juice (yes, I occasionally splurge on pure pulpy juice – not from concentrate). I ran in got my items; was momentarily side tracked by a “sugar free” cookie, but resisted and made it home unscathed!
So I continued to spend my night as I did my day; wallowing in my self pity and pigged out on grapes and corn on the cob. I have a feeling this next week is going to be rough adapting to my new routine and work schedule, but I just need to keep relying on the support I have and I’ll make it through just fine.
Would love to hear if you’re cutting back or cutting out and hit any rough patches and how your coping.
