Ok, I admit I have been putting this post off. I partially didn’t want to have to face it, but if I did I wanted to do a video for you, but can’t find my camera ANYWHERE. I think I left it at my sister’s house over the holidays.
So YES, I finally had a HUGE meltdown and caved, BIG TIME! I had been craving for a couple days. The drive home after the holidays was brutal, because it was late at night, I was sad, hungry and tired…the killer combo for me. But I was really, really good and resisted. Then the next day, bad cravings still, but I resisted. By day three of horrible cravings I just could take it anymore!
I was tired of being good, being different, not able to handle the indulgences that everyone around me was. I was also sad about being away from some of my family and stressed about what to do with myself in the new year without the safety net of a normal job.
So on my way home from a meeting I stopped to get gas and a $1 movie rental from the kiosk and just had a melt down. And so no, I didn’t call my great sponsor, Mr. Health Guy. I should have, but honestly I WANTED wanted to be bad and eat that chocolate bar; I didn’t want to be talked out of it. I was tired of not being able to indulge just once.
It made me really sick but honestly now looking back I can’t say I regret it. Yes, it has now caused me to feel like I’m starting at day 1 again, because now the cravings are back and resisting every day is really tough.
However, I’ve never been one for regrets and this is just another instance of me learning a lesson and truly realizing that unlike a lot of people I really don’t have control of it. I can’t indulge just once and then leave it alone. It is a struggle for me and I want to indulge everyday. I want to be one of those people that can eat whatever and have it not effect me (like I was when I was 20), be able to take it or leave it with no problem. But I’m not one of those people and I this relapse illustrated that.
So here I am again, back in the saddle of cutting it out all over again. I probably won’t post everyday, because I’m not sure you want a rehash of all of that. However, I will post at least a weekly recap on here to hopefully spark some discussion.
And every day I will strive to make this true:
I would love your comments, because it’s good to not feel alone in all this! Thanks for reading.
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
Begin to eliminate sugar from your diet. For thousands of years, people ate whatever sugar occurred naturally in their diets, and it didn’t seem to be a problem; it was a treat. Registered dietician Becky Hand reports that the typical American now eats the equivalent of about 31 teaspoons (124 grams) of added sugar every day (about 25 percent of the average person’s daily caloric intake), and that sugar alone adds up to almost 500 extra calories each day! Our bodies simply weren’t designed to handle this massive load. The American Heart Association recommends that added sugar should be limited to no more than 6 to 7 percent of your total calories (not including naturally occurring sugars found in fruit and dairy products.) To put this in perspective, if you eat 1,200 calories a day, you should limit your intake to 21 grams of sugar per day. That’s the equivalent of about 6 ounces of low-fat fruit-flavored yogurt or one 8-ounce glass of orange juice.
Why we crave sugar. According to AskDrSears.com, “Sweets trigger an increase in the hormone serotonin—a mood-elevating hormone. The body and brain get used to this higher level of serotonin and even depend on it for a sense of well-being. So when our serotonin level dips, (we dip) into the (sweets) to ‘correct’ the situation.” According to the Web site, sweets also “trigger the release of endorphins . . . the brain’s natural narcotics, helping you to relax when stressed.”
You’ve probably noticed that although sugar gives you an initial high (a rapid spike in your blood sugar), you crash several hours later, leaving you wanting more. It’s because sugar takes away more energy than it gives. Eventually, you find yourself exhausted, anxious, and moody. I know I’ve definitely experienced this crash too many times.
Hey Jenna and Bonnie,
I think you are both experiencing just how powerful sugar really is. I am SO proud of both of you! Not only are you actually doing this on a day to day basis but you are sharing your experiences so others can learn – that takes courage.
Bonnie, one bit of advice. At the beginning like this it really is best to clear the house of all temptations. Make yourself get up and get out if you want to cheat. Over the years we've found folks rarely will get in a car to get some chocolate but will cave if it's in the house.
And Jenna, dear Jenna, NINE WEEKS! focus on the success! – and learn from the relapse. Relapse is part of the process. Very few people put down sugar and never relapse. This line was telling and very instructive "now the cravings are back and resisting every day is really tough."
If we just journal and remember how the reintroduction of sugar into our bodies made us feel, it goes a really long way for us to learn what it was doing to day to day. I'm not happy it made you feel bad but in a way I knew it would and it becomes a learning lesson.
Congrats to both of you.
Thanks for all your support and encouragement. I wouldn't have made it this far without it!
Jenna, you definitely are not alone! I began to be sugar free on Dec. 16th, 2011 because I was really sick with pneumonia and i knew I had to eliminate everything that was causing my body to work harder. That included sugar, dairy and gluten. Believe me when I say I paced the floor wanting the chocolate that I knew was in the pantry. I didn't bother getting rid of it because I knew I had to give myself choices. I have cheated a couple of times by having one or two bites, and each time I have immediately felt the negative effectives. What's working for me is having a really balanced diet and always making sure it's MY CHOICE to eat or not eat the things I know will hurt me. Right now my biggest craving is pizza, but I know the cheese and dough will make me sick. I might have to try it anyway, since I've had this craving for several days.
Thanks for the awesome note Bonnie! I am soooo excited to hear you are also on a similar path…though I'm sorry to hear about your pneumonia! Since I've given up sugar and flour, I am right there with you on the pizza cravings; that has to be my worst and most frequent craving as well!! I had a little cheat last month on the flour, but have indulged in pizza yet. However, I have admit I still am eating dairy. I am having a hard enough time with sugar and flour, I haven't brought myself to the point of cutting it all out yet! You are doing amazing; this is going to be a FABULOUS year!